the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
