I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize