Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there's paper in my vomit.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
