Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
