you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have aggressive nipples.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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