I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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