Don't you send me to vm
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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