She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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