We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
