Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
