covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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