I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
