so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
