90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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