I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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