he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
