well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
now i know why i became what i already was.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
