i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
