Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
