I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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