By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
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Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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