McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Two words: blizzard sex
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
