They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize