dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
