"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
