You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
