I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
