My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
