yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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