last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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