Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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