i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
