Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
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He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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