I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
