Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize