I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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