Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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