If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
People in love make me want to vomit
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
