i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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