im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
