i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sex in a hospital.. check
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
