That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
