so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
