all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
