my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
