So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
People in love make me want to vomit
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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