I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
