Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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