I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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