I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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