I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
