Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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