She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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