you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
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He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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