Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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