I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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